Deadliest Sins
by Cellardoor314
Summary: Edward has some rage issues... a lot of rage issues. Recently released from a psych facility in FL, assimilation into normal life is harder than expected with the rumors still alive, especially since he keeps running into a certain girl...
1. EPOV preview

**[[Here's the deal, I've had this story under my belt for over a year now and just came to find out the with multiple alterations I could make it into a Twific. I have Edward POV and Bella POV, I'm going to post EPOV first then chapter two will be Bella POV. Depending on which way reviews lean towards, EPOV or BPOV, that'll be the main character and I'll post a separate story for the other POV. **

**Cannon pairings- Ed/B, A/J, Em/R, Es/C. PLUS, because this was originally my own separate story there will be Out of Character moments. Bella and Emmet are siblings, plus Emmet has a twin sister-sorry if that upsets. Alice and Edward are brother and sister. Jasper and Rose may be related, I haven't decided yet.**

**So, there is abuse throughout this story and eventually rape will be mentioned. If I can make a decent lemon, I will, but I'll need to know if you guys want it. All questions will be answered as the story progresses!]]**

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EPOV

Finally. I'm going to be freed of this torturous hellhole for the crazy. I never belonged in here, not even for a second. I know that's what everyone says when they're in one of these places, but for me, it's true. Everyone snaps when they are pushed past their breaking point, and there just happen to be a number of people who prodded me until I reacted. I just couldn't take it anymore; those fucking idiots didn't know what the hell they were talking about. One full year I've been in here. One full fucking year. But, today is my day, and I'm getting released.

Zipping shut my suitcase, which contained mostly books (those actually took me a while to get 'permission' to have, they thought I'd start beating people,) and a few articles of clothing, I couldn't help but feel pathetic. One full year of my life fit perfectly in this suitcase, and it wasn't even a big suitcase, and it still had room to fit my toiletries in it. How fucking pathetic.

I walked into the bathroom to make sure I didn't leave anything behind. Nope. As I turned to leave, I looked at the black square hanging on the wall. I covered my mirror with a garbage bag after two weeks in this place. I haven't seen my reflection in 50 weeks. I couldn't take it; whenever I looked in the mirror I saw them. I'm the perfect combination of them put together, and all I could think about was those fucking rumors that landed me here in the first place. Fucking-a.

Figuring what the hell, Alice is going to want to fix me up anyways, I tore the plastic away from the mirror and just stared at what was looking back at me. A shell. What has this place done? My hair was going every which direction, which was not out of the ordinary, but it was too long for comfort. My skin looked paler than it did a year ago, which was weird considering I'm trapped in Florida. But with my jet-black hair and the lack of sun exposure combination I looked like the walking-dead. Or the walking-dead's ghost. My eyes looked exactly the same, identical to Alice's. And our parents'.

At that thought of our late parents, I watched as the shell of whom I am in the mirror, the face twisting to contort pain. Or it seemed like it was trying to make a sorrowful and hurt expression, but it was just there. A shell. I had been void of showing emotions ever since I was sentenced here; the only thing that made me truly happy was the fact that I would soon see Alice. God, I love that girl so much, I've been such a dick brother, wallowing in my own pain, ignoring my little sister's pain. Maybe I deserved this year of torture, she deserves better than what this place morphed me into. With a sigh of defeat I walked out of the evil that was the bathroom, and plopped myself on the white bed.

Christ, if there were any color that I could do with out, it would be white. Fucking damn, how much white does one building need? If they're trying to scare the crazy away, they're doing the opposite. Morons. Everything in my room, white. In this perfect square room. There's not one color to differ, except for my belongings, in here, everything is white. Some sick idiot gets pleasure out of torturing people like this.

Just as the string of profanities were about to fill my mind, damning whoever designed this shit place, my door opened up to reveal Tom. Tom is a bulky male-nurse. He's easily 6'4" and is responsible for escorting all residents off the premises. I don't like Tom much, he's just got a quality that makes me want to suffocate him with the garbage bag currently lying my bathroom.

I felt a smile tug at my lips in response to the thought, but mentally berated myself, those thoughts are what got me here in the first place, and they became too enticing I simply had to act on them. "CULLEN! Did you fucking hear me? Grab your shit and move it."

"I'm sorry Thomas, I should've realized that it was your time of the month, I forgot all the nurses were on the same cycle. Deepest sympathies." Oh yeah, not only do I dislike Tom, but he reciprocates the feelings.

"Funny Cullen, get moving. Don't do anything stupid, it's been a long year and I've been waiting for this day to come." Out of all the things I could've responded to Tom, I just let it go. I was too eager to see my family, or what was left of it.

Tom escorted me through the maze of white hallways, passing more and more people and staff, until we finally reached the lobby. The lobby, was of course, covered in floral decor, much color everywhere. I think they just did that to really piss us off once we get released. Sick bastards. There were couches and chairs being filled with people waiting to visit loved ones, and on the other side there was a Zen themed fountain and cushions, my guess; to soften the blow of seeing your crazy family.

I saw my family before they saw me. Alice and Aunt Esme were sitting on the ledge of the fountain, talking animatedly about something. Esme had dirty blonde hair down to her back, hazel eyes, and a tan that most women would kill to have. She wasn't orange and she wasn't pale, she was just gorgeous. Married my uncle while I was in here. I got special permission to be there.

Next to her was my little Alice. Alice's hair is just as jet-black as mine, but she seems to know how to control it, because hers likes to go everywhere as well. Last time I saw her he hair was straightened and went down to the small of her back, but now it's been chopped off and spikes in the back, but with straight side bangs of the sides of her face. Her eyes were just as green as I remembered them, just like mine. Except she didn't have purple circles under her eyes like me, she probably doesn't suffer from insomnia...

Before I could go run and surprise her with a hug, Uncle Carlisle came over and gave me a hug. Carlisle is only eight years older than me, and was my father's brother. Personally, I think they look nothing alike. My father was brown haired, Carlisle is blonde. Father was thin and lanky; Carlisle is on the police force. This list could go on and on.

"Hey kid!" Carlisle yelled, embracing me harder. Carlisle has been in custody of Alice and me for two years now. Half that time I've been here, and the other half he spent dealing with all the lawsuits that landed me here. I'm such a fucking prick. Any who, he loves to call me 'kid' because he knows how much I hate it, and the fact that we could be brothers. So I call him 'Carl', which he really hates as much as I hate 'kid.'

"Hey Uncle Carl!" I replied as enthusiastically as he was being, as he released me from his death trap hug.

"Kid, kid, kid, how'ya been?"

"Well, less crazy knowing that I get out of here today." A full and true smile spread on my face, it was unavoidable.

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**[[Yay? Nay? Boring? Lemme know! R&R or I won't know if I should post the BPOV for you guys to pick one.**

**AFTER I POST BPOV, LET ME KNOW if you preferred the EPOV or the BPOV! I need to know or no more chapters.]]**

**:~Keggers~:**

**P.S. If there is a stray name somewhere in there, my apologies. I had to change names and details to fit Twilight- let me know and I will change it to make sense!**

**R&R FOR MORE!**


	2. BPOV preview

**[[Here's BPOV, I know it may not make sense, but just let me know, Edward's side or Bella's?]]**

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**_FLASHBACK_**

_Yes! Yes! Yes! I could barely contain my excitement as we packed up the car for the beach. Phil had to go to Finland or something to work on the business, or whatever. The important thing was, today we are going outside. Raven may not be speaking, but I can tell she's excited. We haven't been able to leave the house in so long, painfully long. _

_ After we packed up the rent-a-car, mom started driving to Clearwater beach. In the car, Raven opted to sit in the back, so I got to sit up front and watch the scenery. Mom and I were wearing our sunglasses, practically bouncing in excitement. _

_ As the car made it's way to Clearwater beach, the surroundings we passed, may not have been much, but it was enough to take my breath away after so many years inside. Florida couldn't compare to Washington, no way, but I'm not in Washingtom to admire, I'm stuck in the state that should just give up and sink already. Not that I hold anything in particular against this disastrous state, more like the memories I have here._

_ On the highway, I rolled down my window, mom followed suit. The wind was indescribable, enveloping me in its earthly beauty. I shut my eyes to enjoy the wind, when a song came on that caught my attention. Playing for a few seconds, the chorus came on and I amped up the music volume to sing along. _

_ "LIFE IS A HIGHWAY! I WANNA RIDE IT ALL NIGHT LONG!" Mom was singing along with me as the song went on, and I scream-shouted out the window. Turning around to check on Raven, I could see her mouthing the chorus before she could stop herself, thus supplying me to sport a very smug grin. She wants to sing. If only…_

_ The parking lot seemed awfully packed, so getting a spot proved to take a few extra minutes. So many different cars, so many various colors, making my head spin, as the salty sea breeze was detected by my senses, which were working in overdrive to memorize everything about this day. We each grabbed our things, I helped mom carry the picnic basic, as we tried to find a spot. Luckily, most of the people seemed to be tanning, so the spots with umbrellas were easier to choose from._

_ It's astounding we got to take this day and use it here, but there's no way we could survive laying out in the sun, we'd burn to a crisp in an instant. Being locked in a house for so long, tends to make your skin sensitive, even if we were able to do this every weekend, we'd still more likely burn than tan._

_ We set everything up a few spots isolated from the public, but still close enough to the bathrooms. The first thing we did besides setting everything up, we all but soaked ourselves in sun block. Mom took it upon herself to get to food out of the basket, so she'd be busy for a while, so I people-watched those in the ocean. Mostly everyone was more to the right, than in front of us, splashing and swimming. The murmur or conversations coming from all was oddly soothing, as I wrapped my arms around myself. If I tried really hard and focused on one voice, I could tell the conversation, between food, drinks, social gossip, and the cries of joy from the children. There were a select few random stragglers swimming close to be in front of us, but they seemed to keep to themselves. Following my over all gaze, I kept looking to the left, expecting to see no one, but there was a couple. They were swimming and splashing each other, laughing with bliss. _

_ The man and the woman both seemed in their twenties. The man had blondish hair, appearing at only about an inch long, and had muscles to boot. He seemed pretty tall; I bet he could give Emmet a run for his money. No one can beat my Emmet though. The woman had sun-baked caramel hair, long to the small of her back. She had an amazing tan, so even and no apparent tan-lines. I would kill to look like her… I could tell they were both wearing rings, from the tiny glare that would be sent against my eyes as they moved. Newly weds._

_ Before they could catch my blatant staring at them, I turned to Raven who was taking in the beach surroundings and people as well. "Hey Raven," she looked at me, "Race ya to the water!" I threw my sunglasses down as I took off to the ocean water, Raven following closely behind. We both ran into the water, feet sinking in the mushy sand, forming a mold to any pressure that pressed on it. The salty water came at us in waves, attempting to push intruders out of it. Nearing around knee deep, Raven wrapped her arm around my waist and picked me up, swinging me around above the water. Even though I'm five foot six and a half and she's the same height as mom, five foot three, she hoisted me upon her shoulder, spinning in circles. I felt the gust of wind as a factor from Raven's spinning, I put my arms ahead of me, impersonating Superman. "Woooo!"_

_ Raven shifted me around so she was carrying me bridal style, I looked her in the eyes and saw the signature smirk she and Emmet had whenever they were scheming. She rocked me once. "Raven, don't even." She rocked me twice. "I am your baby sister!" She rocked me a third time. "Raven!" with my parting scream, she tossed me into the ocean water, I held my breath in advance. Floating beneath the surface of the Earth's blue liquid, I embraced the gravity ignorant atmosphere. I was weightless, my crazy hair floated around my head, the water didn't care that I was damaged, it just let me be as it hugged me from all angles. I was enveloped in a secure blanket, that which seemed to tease me of another universe with it's taunting encirclement of warmth. _

_ I felt a grasp at my forearm, I didn't dare open my eyes under the water, I knew it was Raven anyways. She dragged me out of my water haven. Once I resurfaced, I gave her a pleading look, but since Emmet left, she's been so over protective. She grabbed me from behind the neck and marched me out of the ocean to meet mom._

_ Walking to our beach site, mom was finished setting out lunch, watching us approach. She nodded at Raven, who released me from her iron hand and sat on a towel, beginning to eat lunch. "Isabella Marie Dwyer, what did you do?" mom asked me, with her stern face, as I put on my sunglasses again._

_ "Nothing, I didn't do anything!" I protested, squatting on my own towel. As I was about to take a bite out of my sandwich, Raven threw a slice of bologna at me, sticking to my cheek. I turned to face her, "Mutey, you are so very clever." Calling bullshit on me by throwing bologna. _

_ I took a large bite of my sandwich and opened my mouth to gross them out. We started laughing as we consumed our lunch, joking around, people watching and constructing story plots for our fellow beach goers._

_ On the search for our new victims for our absurd stories, I saw two teenagers a few spots away from us. They both had black/brownish hair, the girl seemed to be a bit younger than me, and the boy seemed to be a bit older. Through my sunglasses I couldn't really make out their faces, but I nonchalantly point at them to mom and Raven. "Okay girls, they strike me as either siblings or-" Right as mom was about to go on with her ideas, the boy stood up yelling at the girl as she watched in horror. _

_ He kept shaking his hands around, yelling about something, but because they were to my left, I could barely make it out, if at all. I watched as he threw the sun block bottle down, and his eyes went looking in our direction. Self-consciously I bowed my head, willing to not be seen. Looking up again, I saw he was giving the restrooms a sickly death glare. If looks could kill…_

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**[[Sorry if it seems out if character, it's a flashback. And yes, I know Phil isn't her father, but I couldn't stand making Charlie the bad guy :( AND I know she has no sister, and there isn't any character named Raven- she's mine.**

**Please let me know? Otherwise I guess this'll just be it :/**

**EPOV or BPOV? **

**I need to know if you want me to continue! Don't want to review? Vote in my poll!**

**:~Keggers~:**


	3. What the hell is this!

**[[Sooooo, there was a massive amount of people who read the two chapters and not ONE person gave opinions of continuing or not. So, I'm throwing out one more crumb for you guys to decide if posting the rest is worth it or not?**

**Thanks to punkangel208394, ECISLove2010, Kateluvsedward, Sasibell, sujari6, and every1hasaprice for showing you interest by adding this to your favorite stories/adding this to your story alerts! I greatly appreciate know some people believe there is a chance of a good story here~]]**

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_Previously: (EPOV)_

_ Finally. I'm going to be freed of this torturous hellhole for the crazy. I never belonged in here, not even for a second…_

_ …I couldn't take it; whenever I looked in the mirror I saw them. I'm the perfect combination of them put together, and all I could think about was those fucking rumors that landed me here in the first place…_

_ …My eyes looked exactly the same, identical to Alice's. And our parents'…_

_ …At that thought of our late parents, I watched as the shell of whom I am in the mirror, the face twisting to contort pain. Or it seemed like it was trying to make a sorrowful and hurt expression, but it was just there. A shell. I had been void of showing emotions ever since I was sentenced here; the only thing that made me truly happy was the fact that I would soon see Alice…_

_ …"Well, less crazy knowing that I get out of here today." A full and true smile spread on my face, it was unavoidable…._

"Congrats man. Listen, you go over there, while I sign some very important documents, got it?" He asked, feigning seriousness at the end.

I straightened up, and saluted him, "Sir, yes, sir!" He started laughing while I made my way over to Alice and Esme. Alice was dancing, most likely because she was excited, and Esme was sitting there watching her, when she noticed me. I quickly held my finger up to my lips, in hopes she wouldn't alert Alice of my presence. She complied.

While Alice was still facing away from me, I covered her eyes and lifted her up. Which wasn't hard because she was 5' on a good day. "Stupid jerk! When my brother comes out here he will so kick your ass! If I were you, I'd leave now, he's _NOT_ a visitor here, if you know what I mean!" I had to laugh at the fact she was using my crazy status at this asylum as a threat to someone...that could very well be another patient... in the same asylum.

"Silly Alice, what type of threat was that? I'm not even a little bit scared of you right now." I informed her, still not releasing her from my hold. But I could feel her body shaking from laughter.

"Well, Edward, what if I told you I have pepper spray?" She tried.

"Hmmm... That's not scary enough to be initiative to release you." I taunted her back.

"Oh yeah? Well try this one on for size," her head tilted back wards, as my hand did not move. But now my hand was covering her mouth instead of her eyes, and she opened her mouth before I could move my hand, and clamped down. She's biting me?

I quickly dropped her on a cushion, and peered at my hand. "You bit me!"

She laughed, "Prove it!"

I couldn't help the dumbfounded expression on my face; I held my hand up to show the red swollen bite mark. "Proof!"

She laughed again, "No silly. That just proves that someone bit you, and since we are in the house of crazies, it could've been anyone! Who would believe someone like me, bit someone who is 6'2" tall?" She had a point.

"Damn your evil ways Tinkerbell."

"You know you love me Peter Pan!" She ran and jumped in my arms. "See, this is a much more appropriate greeting after 11 months, you dinkus!" When I was first sentenced here, Alice visited about three times during the first month, but she couldn't take seeing me like this and made me promise to not do anything rash.

"Hey sis, I missed you so much." I whispered so only she could hear me. I felt her tears start to trickle down my neck.

"Don't you ever leave me again. Please?" She started to cry harder now. But not noticeable to people around us. We were in our own bubble.

"I won't." I assured her.

"You promise?" She pulled away from my neck, to look me in the eyes.

"I promise, I promise not to leave you again because I do something stupid."

"Good!" She jumped out of my arms, using the hem of my shirt to wipe her tears away from her eyes.

"Gee, thanks sis. And what makes you think I'll do something stupid again, huh?" I asked, sitting down next to Esme on the couch.

"I see things." She said, ominously.

I did an overly dramatic gasp, which caught the attention of Tom who was still watching over me. "Don't say things like that here!" I scolded as she laughed. I lowered my voice and pulled in close to her, "Do you...Do you see dead people?" I feigned fear while asking her.

"Yes. Yes I do." She looked around, silently accusing people of being dead.

"No! Carlisle, we need help!" I scooped Alice up, and grabbed Esme's hand as I ran us over to Oliver. "Alice, she- she, she see's..."

"What is it, Ali? What do you see?" Oliver played along with us, while two 'doctors' came over to analyze what we were doing.

"I see...I see..." She stammered.

"What do you see, Ali, what do you see?" Esme joined us.

"I-I don't know..."

"Damn it, tell us the truth!" I snapped at her, it took everything I had not to break out laughing at our sudden change of movie plots.

She jumped out of my arms and stood facing me, pointing a finger at me. "You can't handle the truth!" She yelled, stomping her foot. I winked at her, and we both turned to the crowd that gathered around us. I took her hand, and bowed, while she did a curtsy. Esme stepped in front of us, to address the confused crowd.

"Thank you all, and we hope you enjoyed our little rendition of Bruce Willis' _The Sixth Sense_ and Jack Nicolson's _A Few Good Men_. Thank you!" And with that the crowd turned away, most of them chuckling at the insanity of our display, but then again, look around us.

The four of us were just laughing, as Carlisle signed more papers, when one of the two doctors came over, looking skeptical. I soon realized one of them was one of my doctors; I just never cared enough to learn his name.

"Mr. Cullen, do we need to have another exit interview?" Alice and Esme stiffened a little, as Carlise turned to look at me, waiting for my response.

"I don't know, Doctor. Do you believe that it would be necessary for me to endure another exit interview?" I may hate the man, but it my parents taught me one thing, it was to respect others.

"Well, I guess not." He chuckled, "I would be overcome with excitement if I were being released from a place I so clearly despised." With that, he walked away.

"Good god, let me finish signing these papers before they come back." After Carlisle finished signing the papers, we made our way to the rental car and sped away from Florida's Calming Visions Mental Facility. I was never a big fan of the name.

"So, kids, what would you like to do?" Esme asked from the passenger seat.

"Well, we should go to the beach, because James is already there and everyone's bathing suit's are in the car." I groaned at Alice for two reasons.

"Alice, I have two questions; Why are you still dating James? And, How can I swim if my bathing suit is around 2 sizes too small?"

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I bought you a new one before we left, don't worry, its solid navy blue." She assured me, but I couldn't help but notice she left my first question unanswered, but I decided not to push it.

I never liked James very much, I know for a fact that he's a cokehead, because I've caught him several times. I hate the fact that my sister is with a druggie, but what can I say, I've been the crappiest big brother ever, it's not like I can just jump in now and tell her she has to stop seeing him.

After everyone got changed and we set up our beach site, we'd been there for about an hour. I knew I would start to burn soon, so I asked Alice to put some lotion on my back for me. She obliged and asked me to return the favor. "So Alice, how are you enjoying your stay in Florida?" It was now just her and me under the comfort of the beach umbrella, Carlisle and Esme were swimming and James left to go to the bathroom...half an hour ago. I squeezed out the suntan lotion and began rubbing her back as she answered me.

"Its nice here, nice and warm." I had to laugh at that, she loves Washington, but always wishes it would be warmer. I looked at her back to see where more lotion was needed and I caught a glimpse of my hands. They were covered in whitish-skin colored paste, which needless to say, freaked me out. I rubbed her back more only to see it looked like I was rubbing away a layer of her skin, to reveal bruises and marks. She had dark purple and blue marks all over her back and neck, some of them were obvious handprints, and I finally registered how to work my voice.

"Alice, what the-what the fuck is this?" I yelled at her.

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**[[Yay? Nay? Boring as all hell and I just suck in general? LET ME KNOW, NO MORE CHAPTERS UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE! **

**Oh, and by default this chapter was EPOV, Please tell me which POV you prefer? I can't do this back and forth thing, _I'LL_ get whiplash and I wrote it!**

**I apologize if there is a stray name that doesn't fit anywhere, just let me know and I'll fix it!]]**

**R&R/do the poll or no more cause I'm not convinced :(**

**:~Keggers~:**


	4. Broken Promise

**[[Alas, another chapter. I know somethings may be a bit confusing, like what happened in Alice's and Edward's past, but what fun would it be if I started with that? Thanks to sujari6 and cullenisabella for adding this to favorite stories/adding me to author alerts/reviewing/adding me to favorite author/adding to story alerts!**

**sujari6: Thank you very much! And I am for sure continuing with EPOV.**

******cullenisabella: **Haha, no worries, all will be answered. After this story is finished I'll post a separate story for Bella's POV. Thank you for your opinion on POV and yes, EPOV is the one I'll be doing. Thank you for reviewing on each chapter, haha, it motivated me to post this next chapter right when I read them.

**EPOV!**

**p.s. Happy Birthday to my mom! Love her~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight and if I could own something I would own HP... but I don't... Oh well, I'll just play with the characters then~**

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"Alice, what the, what the fuck is this?" I yelled at her, as she turned around and looked at my hands. Covered in her make-up to hide her back's condition. How the fuck did she even get this on her? Stop, that's the wrong question.

"I-I..I-I" She stuttered, but I cut her off.

"Alice, what happened?" I yelled again. I knew I shouldn't be yelling, but clearly I have a rage issue.

"It-s...I-it's n-nothi-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me it's nothing. I know what these are; remember why I was sent here in the first place? Tell me who did this to you." I demanded. I had a suspicion, but she needed to tell me.

Before she could stop herself, her eyes darted towards the bathroom. James. James was now leaving the bathroom, rubbing his fucking nose. Coke-fuck-head. "I'll kill him." I murmured, and darted up towards James. Next, everything happened in a blur.

Here I sit, in a courtroom, being charge with something, I don't know. It could be days, weeks, months later for all I know, but I know that I'm here. I get called up to testify in my defense, and they ask me what I remember...I try to explain to them, but I know I sound like and idiot. They let me sit.

_I remember getting up. But, I don't remember walking to James. _

The Judge dismisses the jury to make a decision.

_I remember he said something to me. But, I don't remember hearing anything come out of his mouth. _

I can feel my family's gaze bore into the back of my head.

_I remember I wanted to punch his face in. But, I don't remember actually doing it. _

I looked back at Carlisle. Disappointment.

_I remember seeing the blood spew out of his nose and mouth. But, I don't remember feeling it cover my hands._

I look back at Esme. Fear.

_I remember that he fell to the ground, unconscious. But, I don't remember breaking four of his ribs with my foot. _

I turn around. I can't bring myself to look at Alice. But, I know she's staring at me.

_I remember hearing my family's pleas and cries, begging me to stop, telling me that I was killing him. But, I don't remember stopping._

The jury enters the room after 45 minutes. I'm screwed.

_I remember sitting cuffed in the back of a police car. But, I don't remember how I got there. _

I don't hear the verdict, but I know they say I'm guilty.

_I remember looking out the window and seeing James on a stretcher, being put in an ambulance. But, I don't remember anyone helping Alice._

I'm sentenced to 10 more months at Florida's Calming Visions Mental Facility.

_I remember seeing Alice being comforted by a girl, who was hugging her while she cried. But, I don't remember how long she was there._

I stand up and face my family.

_I remember watching Carlisle and Esme give their statements to Florida police officers. But I don't remember if James was charged with beating Alice._

Esme gives me a hug, and whispers reassuring things in my ear.

_I remember watching Alice and the girl exchange pieces of paper, before she ran over to Carlisle and Esme. But, I don't remember seeing them in the hospital._

Carlisle hugs me next, and tells me he'll visit me every month.

_There are a lot of things I don't remember about that day._

Alice hugs me tightly.

_A lot of things._

"Why?" she asks me in a whisper.

_But I do remember one thing specifically._

"Because I love you." I answer her as I'm being pulled away to gather my belongings to head back to the facility.

_I broke my promise._

Month one. 

**Rage.**

'_I can't believe I fucked it up, so badly. How could I fucking do this? What the fuck is wrong with me? Oh yeah, according to the states Washington and Florida, I'm mentally insane. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Alice deserves so much better than me. Piece of shit brother I am. What the fuck was I thinking? I didn't have to fucking beat the guy into a fucking coma. God fucking dammit. Why the fuck. God dammit.' _

Carlisle does visit but he doesn't say anything as I mentally slaughter myself. He's in the room with the doctor and me, while the doctor is going on and on about how if they upped my medication I should be alright. It's been a month and one week since I've spoken. Carlisle knows this. I listen as the doctors continue to say that if they medicated me, I might break out of my 'catatonic' state. _'I'm not fucking catatonic' _That's all I want to say to them, but they wouldn't fucking listen to me if I did. Otherwise, I have nothing to fucking say.

Month Two.

**Disappointment.**

_ 'How could I do this to my baby sister? She deserves better... I need to be better. She knows that I didn't mean to break the promise, doesn't she? Fuck. What if she doesn't? There's no way she could think I broke it on purpose, right? Fuck, she probably does. I fucking broke a promise. I never do that.'_

Carlisle's second visit is more jam-packed. At first, he refused to have them pump medication into me. He knew I was just fighting with myself, but now that it's been two and a half months since I've said one word, he's reconsidering it. If he says yes, then I'll speak up, otherwise, I have nothing to say. I'm too ashamed to speak a word. They should limit how many words I get. I'm just a huge disappointment.

Month Three.

**Compromise.**

_ 'Okay, well, maybe I do need the drugs. Something has got to be wrong with me. I haven't spoken in three... or four months. Good lord, how long have I been in here?'_

"Three months, Edward." Carlisle looked over at me, with a mixture of emotions in his face.

"What?" My voice sounds terrible. Raspy and crackly.

"You asked how long you've been in here. Three months." He sounded so defeated. He clearly just wants me to get out of here, and I had to go fuck it up. "Edward, I want to up your medication."

"What?" I stood up, my knees cracking from lack of use. Which hurt. Good, I deserve the pain.

"Take a fucking look at yourself! Edward, you were fucking CATATONIC!" He yelled at me.

"I had nothing to say!" Fuck. There was plenty I could have said.

"We both know that's not true." Out of the corner of my eye I saw the doctor writing down things. Well, he must be excited; his catatonic patient woke up today. Lots to diagnose.

"You can't give me more medication without my consent! I was tried as an adult, I should have to give my consent!" I screamed at Carlisle and the doctor, whose name I could give fuck's sake about.

"Well, Edward," the doctor began, "you were admitted as a minor. You will be treated as such. It would just be easier if you willingly obliged." I was about to go and punch him in the face, when Carlisle stopped me.

"Don't." he warned. I willingly sat back down in the chair, and folded my arms. Yes, I was acting like a child, but according to them I am one. God, that's pathetic. Carlisle sat down across from me, calming himself down, as was I. "Alice wants to see you."

With that I stood up again. Pissed. "No!"

"Goddamn Edward, she's your sister, and she's worried. You can't have everything your fucking way." He sounded like he was desperately trying not to yell at me, but he should. I deserve it.

"She will NOT be seeing me like this." Finality dripping in my tone.

"Fuck, Edward, do you know how hard you are making this?" I couldn't help but feel bad. This whole thing was my fault to begin with. If I knew how to control my rage, then we wouldn't be in this situation. Someone has to give, and it's got to be me. I don't care about the medication. I care about Alice.

I sat down, in obvious defeat. I was clearly not going to win this. "Okay Carlisle. I'll willingly take the medication for the remaining time. I'll take whatever they think is best. I'll only do this on one condition. Alice is to not see me like this. She must stay in Washington. She is not allowed to see or hear of my condition. I know I fucked up. I know Alice is blaming herself, tell her I'm greatly improving. Tell her I'm peaceful. Tell her anything but how I really am. I don't want her punishing herself for my misgivings. I'll take the medication." I finally lifted my head to see Carlisle staring at me. He looked right into my eyes, probably seeing if I was bluffing. I wasn't. We stared at each other for a while. Just soaking up what I had said.

Eventually I dropped my head again, so fucking tired of running. I just gave in. "Edward," I heard Carlisle start, so I looked up. He didn't sound right, he sound so proud and sad at the same time. I saw that he had tears forming in his eyes, threatening to spill over. "Edward, your father would be so, unbelievably proud of you." How could he even say that? What father would be proud of their crazy son?

* * *

**[[Yay? Nay? Boring as all hell and I just suck in general? **

**I've decided to continue the story and maybe more will get interested, thank you again to sujari6 and cullenisabella for convincing me!**

**I apologize if there is a stray name that doesn't fit anywhere, just let me know and I'll fix it!]]  
**

_:~Keggers~:_


	5. Catatonically Broken

**[[I AM SO SORRY! Summer took a twist for the busier, seriously, once I got home from NY I had to fly right back off to NC for orientation, when I got back it was a never ending marathon of family visits! I loved it, but then I check my email and felt SO GUILTY! I AM SO SORRY! **

**Thanks to Sorrows-Litany, Nessie (), cha-chris, cullenisabella, sasha123, sujari6, shea1223 for reviewing and/or adding to favorite stories/story alert/**

**Special thanks to!:**

**Sorrows-Litany: **Thank you for reading, sorry my update is delayed!

** Nessie (): **I'm very happy that you're liking it! Enjoy~

**cullenisabella: **Thank you so much for the review! It made me smile when I read it- Edward doesn't have it very easy in this story, lol. Thank you for all the encouragement with this story, and I'll never doubt that you're reading it when I update!

**sujari6: **Excellent question, yes, that was Bella that he saw with Alice on the beach. I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far!

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any part of Twilight or the characters that thrive within the story.**

******THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR READING!**

* * *

Month Four.

**Blank.**

The medication worked wonders. I feel absolutely nothing. I care about nothing. I can sense nothing. My surroundings are nothing. My ears hear nothing. My eyes decipher nothing. My weight is ignorant of gravity, I'm floating. I'm nothing. I'm just here. In my world of nothingness. It's a dark place. Filled with nothing. I just wait. Watching nothing continue around me. Carlisle is here again. But I feel nothing. I'm compelled to do nothing. Say nothing. I'm empty. I. Am. Me. But. Gone...

Month Five.

**Blank.**

The nothingness that surrounds me, is still present. I feel like a drone in the background, just observing everything. But nothing at the same time. I can't describe, it's truly...nothingness. How does one describe what I am now. It's worse than the shell, it's like I'm trapped in the shell. I can't get out. I'm just stuck, and I can't save myself. This medication was supposed to get me OUT of catatonic states, wasn't it? What do you call this, then. What am I in? Why is this just immensely overwhelming, but I'm calm? It's too much to take. But, it's not enough to feed me. I want to move, but I can't. I'm still nothing. I'm trapped in the shell of nothingness, surrounded by nothing, doing nothing, feeling nothing, existing as if I were nothing. Alone in my nothingness world, I can't even acknowledge Carlisle this time for his visit, though I want to. But I am in my world of nothingness.

Month Six.

**Blank.**

"Take a goddamn look at him! It's been two and a half months on those pills and he's worse than before! What exactly did you give him? I want him off those pills, now!" Someone yelled, but I was to taken in my nothingness to acknowledge the fact that while on these pills, I like the feeling of nothing. There's something I should remember, but I don't.

"Mr. Cullen, please calm down. We can't just take him off the pills cold turkey, he still needs time to adjust to the shock of the intensity of the medication. If we lower the dosage or take him off the pills, he will be in extreme pain. The pills take five months to work. Three visits from now, he will be done with the process." I wanted to yell, scream, fight, but I couldn't. The numbness and nothingness was too tempting for it's own good, I simply stayed where I felt safe. Far away from everything. In my own little world of nothingness.

Month Seven.

**Blank...?**

I don't know what's going on. My nothingness seems to be slipping away from me every other minute. If I let myself relax into it, I feel like another miniscule piece is torn from my body. My own little world, slipping away. Why? Why does it have to go? I like it better, not feeling anything.

"Mr. Cullen, he's right on schedule, he's becoming more responsive, in the slightest ways."

"How do you figure?" Pretty sure that's Carlisle.

"Remember months 4 and five? How if we were in the room, addressing him, talking about him, yelling, fighting, anything, he'd be still as stone?"

"Yes."

"Last month I noticed the slightest difference. Whilst we were addressing the side effects of the medication, he would tilt his head in such a fashion as if trying to pay more attention. Or as if he had something he wanted to say, but couldn't."

"So, are you telling me that he can actually hear me now?"

"Well, we don't know for sure unless we try, Mr. Cullen." Suddenly there was something in front of me. I couldn't make it out. I personally didn't want to see what was going on. I didn't need to. I was too busy chasing my nothingness that was slipping away.

"Edward? Can you hear me?" Carlisle, I assumed, said to me. I really wanted to let him know that I could hear him. I wanted so badly to apologize, over and over, again. I wanted to. But my body rejected the idea of moving. I tried to move until I felt like I would get bruises from my efforts against the brick wall that had been set up. "I thought you said he could hear me?" Carlisle turned away, I could tell by the vibrations of his voice, no longer aiming at me.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, I'm certain that he can hear you. I believe his mind his not letting his body respond until it can figure out what's wrong with itself first. I would like to attempt something; Edward, would you please open or try to open your eyes if you can hear me?" Were my eyes closed? Is that what helped hold the nothingness in? Should I open my eyes? Well, I do need to let them know that I can hear them. It couldn't hurt that much to open my eyes.

As I tried to open my eyes, it took as much force as trying to move, anything. I focused all I had onto my eyelids, desperate to move anything. It was an unbelievable pain, I am here, but I don't want to be, but I have to be, so I need to be, but I still don't want to be.

"What does this mean? He's not moved. Still as stone. Distant as Atlantis. Broken like a record. What did you do to him?" I could feel the intensity in the room. Carlisle shouldn't be upset, he deserves better than a nephew that's always giving him grief. I may not want to open my eyes, or even want to, but if it's important to Carlisle, than I have to do it.

I strained again, to open my eyes. Refusing to take no for an answer. I could do this. I must do this. I just need to think of my family. Carlisle, he was, and still is, so young to have taken in two teenagers. So loving towards his brother, I don't know how he could take us and still have his spare time for Esme.

Esme, god, she's so sweet. She's so fun, and goes for joking around. When the time comes, she would make an excellent mother. Hell, she's probably already an excellent mother towards Alice.

Alice. The person whom I avoided thinking about for months. Whenever my mind wondered towards her, it recoiled instantly. She's got to hate me by now. I completely destroyed her teenage life with my antics. It's not a self pity-party. I knew this would happen if I broke again, and yet I broke anyways. There is no one at fault but me, well, Logan didn't exactly help in any way. Ass. But, Alice, she needs me. She may not know it, but she does.

"-him stop! Edward, stop! Make him stop!"

"Mr. Cullen, I'm afraid he will not stop, it appears to be a personal mission of his to achieve something. Take great strides towards acceptance and recovery." What? This doctor is seriously messed up. Wow.

Every single atom of my body was strained to opening my eyes, but as much pain as all of it was, I still felt this odd sensation in my throat. It felt like vibrations, but they weren't smooth, they were rough and sharp.

"Shit, Edward, please, if you can hear me, please, stop trying. Please don't do this, I believe you can hear me. I know you can. You don't have to open your eyes now, please, don't set your self back." '_It's too late to go back now. What's done is done. I've committed what I have, and there's no shame in turning back to wish to alter what I consider a greatest fault of mine.' _ "What? What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he speaking like that?"

"Mr. Cullen, please contain yourself, that is strictly the medication speaking. I do not believe he is aware of the fact that he is speaking." What the hell? Is this guy in my head or something? No, focus on opening the eyes.

"Doctor, I sided with you on the medication in the beginning, when I should have so clearly, listened to Edward and my instinct. All you have done is make him worse! What type of scam are you running here?" Come on, eyes, fucking open. I know there is light, I can see it, well, sense it.

"Mr. Cullen, I would request you not to speak to me in such a fashion, especially in front of MY patient." I could feel one of my eyes open, ever so slightly. I knew that my pupils must have dilated instantly. Why was the room so bright? That's just cruel, did they stop to think how bright it would look to me if I did open my eyes today? No. Stop, you self centered bastard.

"Fuck you! I'll talk how I wish in front of MY nephew! Jackass." I opened my other eye, the same amount, it was equally as bright, if not more.

"Mr. Cullen, if you cannot contain yourself, I will have to call security and ban you from visiting in the future. Don't make me do that." Everything was bright and blurry. I felt like I was looking through my camera lens again… Almost two years without my cameras, shit.

"Fine. I wont insult you in front of Edward anymore. But if I run into you outside this nuthouse, I will make my feelings very clear to you." Still incapable of making any figures out, my eyes darter towards the voice, Carlisle, at the mention of my name. "Edward? Can you hear me?" No, that's why I opened my eyes. I slowly kept opening my eyes more, still blurry, but the brightness had decreased. "Edward? Can you talk?" I knew it would be pointless to try, so I just shook my head.

Carlisle kept asking me questions, over and over again, but I just sat there. Not moving. Why bother? The nothingness feeling is completely gone, all I feel now is pure pain. I just shut my eyes and went into a darkened state, away from the bright lights. I just ignored everyone and everything until I get out of here. What's the point of paying attention?

* * *

**[[Yay? Nay? Boring as all hell and I just suck in general?**

_**ATTENTION!**: Would anyone appose to Carlisle being a cop instead of a doctor? In my original version of this story with my own creation of characters, Carlisle's role was a cop. If anyone is STRONGLY opposed to CARLISLE being a COP, PLEASE tell me and I'll make some tweaks. BUT YOU MUST TELL ME OR IT WILL NOT CHANGE!_

**I apologize if there is a stray name that doesn't fit anywhere, just let me know and I'll fix it!]]  
**

_:~Keggers~:_

_P.S. I leave for college August 18 [3am to be precise... it's a 10 hour drive...] and it's going to be my first year [cheers to being a freshman again, huh?] so I cannot stress ENOUGH that updates will be slower! Kind of like this one being a month apart, I have NO IDEA how much free time I'll have, but I'm willing to bet not much. :[_


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